Now who would have thought! Seriously, who would have thought that 2020 would be one of the most challenging times of my life! And we’re only in April!
Every New Years my Husband asks me, “what are your goals for this year Sand?” And for a good decade, when the kids were little, it was simple, “to survive”. Now when asked on the 1st of Jan this year the exact same question, I couldn’t answer, I didn’t know where I was headed, what I wanted to achieve and even more so if I had the energy, mentally, physically or emotionally to even achieve anything!
2020 clicked over with me breaking down to my Husband, admitting that I was struggling, like, really struggling and had been for about 6mths. The business was really busy (successful, as I had hoped), the kids schedules were full on (and being a Mumma brings me the most joy) and we had a very full social life (we have amazing friends and family who we adore and want to be with).
So what is REALLY wrong Sandra?
It was all just too much, as crazy as it sounds now, with a clear mind, I had too many amazing things happening in my life and I felt overwhelmed with the load and unable to fully enjoy any one thing.
Then on the 4th of January our boy was badly burnt in a motorbike accident. He needed to go to hospital in an ambulance, we ended up being referred to Brisbane and he had 4 lots of surgery and skin graphs to heal the burns he suffered. Now the load was HUGE! Even more heavy then before, but at the same time it made me realise how much you can simply let go of!
Staff CAN run the shop, and love the business as much as I do, friends CAN cook meals, social schedules CAN be cleared and inside our home, together, we are safe, strong and secure. As much as the entire accident, surgeries and trips back and forth to Brisbane were very testing, almost like a grief, it made me realise my focus needed to shift to suit me and my family.
My biggest goal in life is to be an amazing Mumma who raises happy children to be beautiful adults. The shop, the business, the social life and all the rest is very much a 2nd to this. I love my business, I love it with all my heart, but it will never surpass my desires to be an amazing Mumma who can know she’s done her very best!
So with that I added extra shifts to my amazing staff’s rosters, I started putting time limits on my business hrs at home, I planted a garden and embraced a true love I had let slide and embraced that sometimes Weetbix are a complete meal!
Then BOOM the word was delivered about Covid 19.
Now, I have been slowly regaining control and feeling more settled with the balance of our lives, my mind was more clear than it had ever been, but my health was still showing signs of unbalance. I have been sick on and off with a few different bugs, one of which saw me in hospital, and I knew I was still vulnerable. Then our lives started to change, limits were placed on us and the one with which I struggled the most with was “essential services”.
I am the 1st one to admit Painting is good for the soul, and hey a clock or cute planter adds so much joy, but as for being essential? I was so torn. And not surprising, I came down with a head cold and mouth ulcers, stress!
My Husband came home from work one afternoon with 2 boxes of super soft tissues, and I cried uncontrollably, better then flowers I say!! It was one simple statement from him and I was convinced “close the shop Sand, look after yourself and the kids”.
I knew what I had to do. You know that feeling once a decision is made? The relief, the fact you can sleep that night. That’s when you know you’ve made the right decision!
Now I am not going to lie, I was concerned, the doors will be closed, the sales will stop, the kids will be home and I need to cover the cost of running a business that is now closed to the public! Then my accountant (who has become a friend, of course) called me. She reminded me that the business started from home, online only and that I had genuinely created a relationship with my clients that would see their loyalty and their continued support throughout this time. And you know what? She was spot on, and for that, and for you all, I am eternally grateful.
I spose the point to this is.
Focus on what is important right now. Focus on the amazing time we have to rest, to recover and to reconnect.
And if you need any reason to create, or add a clock to your home, I am here for you, always will be 💕